A neutron walks into a bar and says, "Hey bartender give me a beer."
The bartender gives him a beer.
The neutron asks, "How much is it?"
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
A helium nucleus bursts into a bar.
Frantically, he proclaims, "Hey! Somebody just stole one of my electrons!"
The bartender says, "Are you sure?"
The neutrino says, "Yeah - I'm positive!"
What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.